Love the Fetus! 4

Even if it looks like a Cat 5.

Thank God for the Second Amendment 7

I mean, literally.

Support Our Troops! 3

The non-sodomites, anyway.

Jesus Says Just Kill Them! 2

This man of God knows what Jesus would do!

Thank God for the Second Amendment 7

It keeps us safe from tyranny.

Thank God for the Second Amendment 6

'Cause we know that abusive ex-husbands won't ever get their hands on these guns. 'Cause the rule is: bullets only hit bad guys!

Thank God for the Second Amendment 5

An armed society is a polite society.

Family Values 31

The Red State Culture of Life.

Support our Troops! 2

We thank you for all the time you spent overseas to defend us.

Family Values 30

A good Red State husband takes care of his little woman.

High Tech

Just remember to bring your brass knuckles.

All God's Children Are Brothers, Even The Colored Ones

Better late than never!

Law And Order

Criminal mastermind strikes again.

Support our Troops! 2

At least the live ones. Dead ones were too damn dumb to live.

A Scout Is Trustworthy...

You know what they say: Be prepared.

Party on! 7

Our brave military takes morale matters into their own hands.

500 cc's of flesh-eating herbal paste--stat!

Of course he's a real doctor!

The Stars At Night Are Big And Bright 6

Enterprenurial Red Staters go for the gold.

Mmm, Tasty! 8

Now that's some damn fine eatin'.

Party on! 6

Yer honor...hic...just because I'm DRUNK...hic...that don't mean I'm INTOXICATED...

Hot for Teacher

I just want to know: where were educators like this when I was hitting puberty???

500 cc's of brake fluid--stat!

"[At AMA conventions] They discuss important questions of medical ethics: 'If you leave the forceps inside a patient, should you go back in to remove them or knock it off your income tax?'"

- Alan King

Boom! 2

You know how when you're about to travel on a plane and you're in a big hurry and you forget about the pocket knife in your pocket or something?

The slipped discs were killing her

Hard work and thrift: the Red State path to wealth.

The Stars At Night Are Big And Bright 5

Shee-it, all I care about is can I still kick beaners' asses or not??

Is My Children Become Homosexual?

Dr. Dobson shows you how to spot seven unavoidable signs. Thanks again to brother Dan, good Christian (well, if you call the Red Whore of Bab...I mean, the Catholic Church as Christian).

Advice for Teens

What part of "keep it above the neck" don't you understand? (Pointed by World O'Crap via the Daou Report. Must subscribe or watch stupid ad to read.)

Fashion Accessories of the Week

Not available in any store!

Now, that's a lawman!! 7

Please pull over to the side of the road. Immediately.

We hate the Federal Gummint 1

But we sure love our Senators. (Must watch stupid ad or subscribe to read.)

Family Values 29/Thank God for the Second Amendment 5

A good Red State wife will do anything for her husband, as God intended.

Deep Cover

Red Staters may hate preferences, but they sure love those cute Negroes.

Family Values 28

One thing all good Red State wives know: submit to your man like the Bible says. (Brother Dan keeps 'em coming!!)

Statesmanship

Red State style!