And in this corner...

Maybe she can give the "real" winner a punch in the nose.

Ho ho ho! 2

Oh, yeah? Ring this, m*@#%$+@#*&r!

Ho ho ho!

And a Merry Christmas to all our friends in the Bluegrass State!

Those Gal Danged Blue State Peaceniks!

Why do they hate our brave fighting men in uni....uh... never mind!

Crime in the City

Dan does it again!

Man Bites dog

No, like, literally!

First Person Shooter

Or how Red State youth keep themselves ready to defend their country at all times.

The Truth About Slavery

So dang, get over it, already. (Thx to Dan!)

Protecting The Youth

They should burn an effigy of Sam Walton over this insult to our values. (Dan's on a roll today!)

Service Above and Beyond the Call of Duty

Here's a Red Stater who exemplifies the patriotism we all should be feeling! (Thanks to Dan, again.)

Who Needs Crack?

All you need is the Internet and a dream!

Now if only that nice Mike Powell could make all the TV networks like this! Then we wouldn't have to worry about indecency!

Christmas Spirits

The entrepreneurial spirit meets the Christmas Spirit here in the Big Easy.

The Stunt Man

Where have you gone, Evel Kenievel? A nation (well, state) turns its lonely eyes to you.

Ho ho ho!

What does granny want for Christmas? How about a concussion?

Customer Feedback

Forget those wussy "How are we doing?" feedback cards--Red Staters know how to demand, and get, results!

Vice Fearless Leader's Company's Just Desserts

Now this is a milestone proud Red Staters can celebrate!

Must be that clean Deser(e)t air...

...that keeps those Red State guys looking so young!

Shanked With A Shank!

Hey, don't blame me for that headline. My brother Dan is the responsible party...also the party responsible for finding this new entry in the Red State Justice Files.

On strike!

Red Staters take a stand for workers' rights!

Boo!

I'd love to bid on this, but I'm kinda hoping that grilled cheese sandwich shows up again...

Dude!

Wow... did one of us smoke it, man?

Hey, Big Spender!

Maybe because they said they wouldn't accept aluminum cans?

Annals of Capitalism

These guys at Krispy Kreme must be working closely with Microsoft's PR team.

Blame It On The Shoes

Leave it to a Red Stater to come up with a simple answer for problems that have plagued pointy-headed "poverty experts" for decades!

Mechanical deer?

the mind boggles.